Grief - It's not one size fits all

The process of grief can be challenging and anyone who has been through it knows the pain and discomfort associated with the loss of a loved one.

The COVID 19 pandemic has brought a rise in grief cases with many of us having lost someone close. It can be particularly difficult to get to the stage of acceptance when we lose our family members or friends to the Corona Virus. It seems unnatural or abnormal and we often wonder: "how did they contract the virus?" and "could I have done more to help them?".

Grieving is a complicated process and each one of us will work through it in our own way.

Here are a few points to remember in a time of loss:

Recognize your loss:

After a significant loss, you may be numb for a while. Being numb allows us to accept the loss a little at a time. It is important to acknowledge the loss and the pain. Feeling the pain after a loss is a normal part of living and loving. Denying the loss does not lessen the pain, it prolongs the suffering.

Accept all of your feelings, even the feelings you don’t like:

Fear, anger, guilt, sadness, depression, despair, heartbreak, and an overwhelming feeling of disorganization are characteristic reactions to a significant loss. Avoiding naming and feeling our feelings, will mean our feelings will be expressed in unexpected and unwanted ways.

You are vulnerable, be gentle with yourself:

Allow yourself to have those down days, it's okay to need support. Invite help only from people who you know will be gentle with your feelings and can be supportive.

You are not alone, seek comfort as you need it:

Although you feel alone and grieving is an individual process, you are not alone. Grieving is a natural part of life, sometimes we can draw strength from hearing others' experiences. Let those around you know how they can help you.

Healing does not occur in a smooth line or on a time table:

Healing occurs in phases where you move in and out of different feelings. Remind yourself that you can get through this. Remember that there is no way around grieving, you will need to work through it. You will learn to accept where you are in each moment and continue on your journey.

Take each day at a time and keep in mind that those who leave us are never truly gone, we can keep their memory alive in our actions and deeds.

If you feel overwhelmed and need some assistance on your healing journey, reach out to us at Flourish Wellbeing for support.

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